No Lorry to Carry your ‘Sorry’!

*title copyright from Upasana, my friend

We have lessons in grammar about verbs, tenses, modals and sentence linkers of which we care to remember none and neither take notice of while using English in real life. But of all topics why isn’t there a chapter on ‘The Sensible use of some Commonly spoken Words’!

As it happens, words are not like the paintings of Leonardo da Vinci that you can put them up anywhere you want and yet draw praises from a bewildered guest. Words, other than having a meaning, need to have a context of use, a purpose which compliments to the meaning; just as subtle strokes of highlights on a portrait to bring out the right expressions on an otherwise unassuming face.

Needless to say, one such word is SORRRRY (yeah! With all the stress on ‘r’ which emphasizes how cheekily sorry you are :). Now let me tell you what’s so stupid about being sorry where there is no reason to be sorry or even there where it makes no sense, what-so-ever!

Scene-1:

“Is this funny-looking bag yours?”
“Yes..”
“Oh! I m sorry. Don’t feel bad. I didn’t mean to make fun of it.”

Firstly you found that bag funny. So you said so. But now that you know its my bag you don’t find it funny anymore (whats that supposed to mean?). Otherwise, you found that bag funny and if you knew that this sort of a comment would hurt me, then you shouldn’t have said it at all. You always knew that it would hurt and yet you said…so now what are you sorry about?!!

Scene-2:

“What were you talking so excitedly about? And who was that guy you were talking to?”
“Nothing important…and come on, he is just my friend!”
“Oh! No. No. I am sorry. I hope you didn’t mind me asking you something like that.”

Again. All that you were concerned about was to know what I was talking about…ofcourse, could have been a potential-masaledar-rumor-material. And after you asked about it…you felt ‘sorry’ about asking! Are you just merely indecisive or lack logical thought and reasoning. How can you do something that you know you will feel sorry about, later on. Why would you do such a thing in the first place?! And IF YOU DO, then why feel sorry? You see, basically people take the sorry for an escape mechanism…sorta back-door exit after the job is done. :)

Scene-3:

“What sort of marks are these?! You have almost failed in two subjects!”
“Err…actually I am really sorry papa. I hadn’t read a thing for the test”

You knew that not reading is directly proportional to poor marks. Still you didn’t read…ok, may be you couldn’t for some plausible reason. But that doesn’t mean that you can be sorry to your father. You could have told your father before the exams that you were unprepared. That shows you are responsible. Otherwise, you could simply explain the situation and swear never to repeat again or just keep your mouth shut and accept it. Here saying ‘sorry’ is the last thing to do cause it shows you are trying to absolve your self of all responsibilities.

Last of all, sorry must be used where you do something WITH OUT REALISING WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES of your actions could be i.e. playing around with someone’s cell which ultimately falls down and gets damaged. Basically, if we use a little bit of common sense and think empathetically we can ALWAYS KNOW WHAT WILL BE THE CONSEQUENCES of our DOINGS. Also ‘sorry’ sounds reasonable when you do something accidentally…like stepping on someone’s toes :D

Next time you use a ‘Sorry’, use it for a reason. After all it is an all important word in the ‘Social Relationships’ dictionary, not to be denigrated.

If Only...

* Published in the Asian Age Poetry Contest on Jan 6, 2008

She peeps from behind the moon,
Her dark mane flows free.
Can I get out to see?

Dark streets. That lustful, brutal eye.
Virgin skin under your frills.
Look at your bosoms, do I lie?

Skimming the openness, letting an elated cry.
Soft breeze ruffling nightingale’s down.
Can I pedal off and fly?

Behind iron bars lies your empire,
This vast prison grants freedom.
Beyond, don’t you dare aspire.

Are binding bangles a must?
I am owned it says. It grows on me.
Vermillion camouflages the inner rebellion.

Oh! If only your questions had answers.
But no one ever answered me!

_

Gettin Beyond the 6-in-1 Grater...

With every passing moment of my life…I come across trifles of knowledge, which have always been lying around…like the 6-in-1 grater in my kitchen :). Quite recently, I have had to conclude …though previously I had already come to this very conclusion (….yeah this is how I pick up fights with myself!!! :P)....

‘Born on a bed of roses, no one ever became great. One has to put up with the thorns.’

There are many a living examples...this scribbling being inspired by one such simple, ordinary and absolutely common-place Great man…(buzzzoff! you don’t have to be popular to be great!)

Hence forth this is what I will believe in and stand for (tut tut…big aspirations to keep up with :) ) : All who have had an easy life ought to be feeling sorry! Thank God, Thank your stars…if all u get in life is troubles, dilemma, predicaments and stumbling block. Thank the Almighty…coz he made you the chosen one…that he believes in your strength of character…that he knows, while others would have put up their hands, you have it in you to face the over-powering and engulfing tide of times

Now let’s use some common place logic – had u been the directing Julius Caesar, your best actor would of course get the toughest role…i.e. he would end up being Anthony, having to grieve over his friend’s death, give a supercilious speech and fight a lone battle…with lots more nuisance to follow. Synonymously, on life’s stage the best man/woman gets the hard-hitting roles. So doesn’t that strike a chord in your head (and not in your heart ;) )?...U r the best one around for the job!!!

Difficulties teach a lot more than successes – so learn from them. DO NOT CONDEMN THEM or GOD or YOUR FATE! Great leaders are made from great sacrifices :)

As is said, ‘A smooth sea never makes a skillful mariner’.

Redefining the Almighty

It took me a bit of time to put this...lazy me..[:P]..and hey if you haven’t read the previous post ‘That Forbidden Fruit’, then its going to be a bit difficult explaining you what this one means[:D]. So if you could please...:)

God. Answering anything about this word…..the ‘who’s, ‘how’s and ‘why’s is a daunting task. But recently I landed myself in the mind of a great soul (I am not even trying to praise...because I know I will fail miserably :P) Honestly, I was fortunate to come across him (not in person of course :) and had you been in my place, reading his book, you would have been astounded by the simplicity of his words; of how practical and down-to-earth are his thoughts. The man is no secret. It’s Swami Vivekananda and the book is the Life and Works of Swami Vivekananda.

And a possible explanation to God is what I found in those enlightening pages. Here’s what he has to say:

“Each soul is potentially divine. The goal is to manifest this Divinity within by controlling nature, external and internal.”

“This universe is simply a gym in which the soul is exercising (sounds pretty weird…but makes a lot of sense!); and after these exercises we become gods. So the value of everything is to be decided by how far it is a manifestation of God.”

Now daring to explain what meaning I drew out is, overwhelmingly straightforward : It is the perfect human who is God….or in his words it is… all human beings are inherently holy beings but the one who reaches perfection is christened by the title ‘God’…

If that went above your head (as it did happen with me for the first time :D), here it is in plain words…like we all have biceps, in the same way we all have godliness in us. But just like having biceps doesn’t make u look like our good old Arnie (ahem…Arnold Schwarzenegger), in the same way having the qualities of godliness doesn’t make you God. Just as one has to sweat out in the gym to get a jaw-dropping chiseled body, in the same way human beings have to work out their thinking muscles to become divine. And the one who has reached such a level of perfection is revered as ‘The Almighty God’….. :) (yeah!..as simple as that ;) )

You will see this answers a lot of questions…some of which I want to throw a light upon…

Why we pray? – People pray with out understanding what or why they are praying! It’s really sad. We don’t (read shouldn’t) pray to ask for boons or to grant our greedy wishes. Its really silly to expect that…rather God is like the idol we look upto....something like a novice cricketer would do with Sachin Tendulkar. God is the perfect one….and we ought to be inspired by his perfection and may be when we are all down….ask him to give us strength, courage….though m sure no one is listening [:P]

The riddle behind ‘Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient’ ? – Omnipresent is just another way of saying that he is present in all i.e. again we all are ‘potentially divine’ and every thing in this material world has the ability to reach perfection whether it’s your mixer grinder or a redwood tree. [:)] ; Omnipotent and Omniscient are words which showcase how perfect he is...that he knows all and is all capable…talking in a practical sense.

The various Avatars or faces of God (even Christ and Allah!) - They are just manifestations of human needs. There are millions of material pleasures in this world…..and to achieve them a God with a different face was a useful tool to show the common man the different facets of the same god…to show people that it was all achievable; like Lakshmi for wealth and Saraswati for knowledge can after all be the one same God ( and yes also a goddess…..just a different attribute of one :) ) Greek mythology actually identifies its gods as real with a lineage!; Apollo being the God of healing and medicine, and of music and poetry... :

Well this list could just go on…its after all a question of how you look at it and not how it is! But do not make it a bone of discontent…perceptions differ and trying to forcibly change them can be disastrous as you will see in my next post…this one is already so long ….hehehe… (Again the post above and not below... :P)

Sounds too good...aint it?

Your Learning Style: Curious and Brilliant

You are a very abstract learner. You can grasp even the most complex theories. You Should Study: Astronomy Biology Chemistry Computer Science Linguistics Mathematics Philosophy Physics Psychology Hey there is no fighter pilot as an option here!! [:~] ..guess i was never made for it..rather it for me [:D]..and how so true that i cud never have been one...

What Should You Study?

dont knw hw this will help...but hav put up anyway:

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

here r other troublesome ones [:P]:

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are balanced, peaceful, and sincere. You're the type of person who goes along to get along. And you're definitely afraid of rocking the boat. Underneath it all, you fear your world falling apart. You'll put up with a situation that you don't like in fear of changing it. Disruptive and forceful people intimidate you - and sometimes exploit you.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

what does this mean...belive me i never lied!! [:|]..ok just see this...

Your EQ is 160

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

That Forbidden Fruit!

Amazing as it may seem, but I had never imagined myself writing something of this sort. But it became inescapable because of this very simple question: ‘Who is God?’ And before I embark upon defining (rather redefining!) God, I think there is another word which has to be understood first…And if you are toooo busy to relish what life has to offer…ok chill!....then jump to the 6th paragraph. (You will repent! ..You will be cursed! [:P])

Before I start off with the real idea, let me clarify that I am no Preacher, Philosopher or a bhakta of any Swamiji. I am as much in dark about life and its subtle meanings as you are. But being a curious soul and an inquisitive human, I haven’t been able to refrain myself from questioning every answer that life has given me as a taken-for-granted gift…

In this pursuit of answering questions and questioning answers, I was stumped by a blatant fact : What am I looking for? What are we all looking for? Answers which shall answer questions?? To the question of hunger we have the answer food, to loneliness we have company, to despair we have love, to losing we have winning,….Yet, taking a bird’s eye-view of our own lives….we can see these small acts do not fit in well enough as a jigsaw puzzle to give us the complete picture….At least I know I don’t think eating removes hunger completely (u will again feel hungry!) or winning makes you a winner or that a Mercedes makes you happy …You see …underlying all these events is a momentary, fleeting answer…That ceases or evaporates….leaving you and me an empty bowl; still yearning for more happiness, for more love, for more success...and blah blah.

We are always under the notion….I know this has been fed into us…that we must look for that first prize. But can life always be a competition?...that we must look out for happiness in a relationship. But is happiness the only ingredient that makes a relationship work? Isn’t a bit of grief, a bit of sorrow equally important?....then what should we want out of life? What must we look for? What should be the goal of life? And mind you...a goal has to be an incentive that drives you every day, in every moment….edging you nearer and nearer to where you want to be….

Now….its evident that happiness, success or pleasure can never be that forbidden fruit for which we live our lives…and if you do (…and I know most of us do including me up till now!!) you are bound to be disappointed…thoroughly, badly[:(]. It’s like catching soap-bubbles in thin air; the moment you catch them, they burst…and you start looking for more bubbles to catch!

So while I was looking at my Granny putting jhoti (...It is different from Rangoli in the sense that here no colours are used…rather powdered rice paste[:P]), I realized that she wasn’t doing this task out of happiness or because someone would scold her if she didn’t! [:P] Yet, she curved her fingers, squinting at it from a distance and again adding a line here and there….so immaculately…so flawlessly…or so PERFECTLY!

Yes. That’s the word. PERFECTION. Honestly, if there is anything that PRACTICALLY qualifies as an ultimate goal of life...it is PERFECTION! Not the first prize, not what we like or dislike, not success or joy, not heaven (hahahohho...now who says this is?) and not even moksha or GOD (yes..my dear!!!). Even when I am peeling potatoes, writing this enlightening piece (or bull-shit as you may call it!), caressing my dog, loving my love, hanging out or smiling, thinking, eating, talking…just anything!!!....there is just one thing that I am moving towards…or rather trying to…that’s perfection. And this goal applies to every thing that we do in our whole lifespan.

You see…even if you did not realize this, but, your every effort in life has always been aimed towards achieving perfection in what ever you have done….just that you and I and all never thought about it! We were the lost ship, always trying to adjust our sails according to the breeze (which would ultimately land us at some shore!) but never tried to know which shore we WANTED to land at!

Don’t know if this sounds convincing enough…but that’s my hypothesis, my reason …which answers quite a lot of questions and which provokes me to carry out whatever I want to (or have to!) with ease. Sometimes I do fail (and fail miserably! :D). Regardless of my failures, I know what my purpose is and am no more stretching out to catch the rainbow…

PS: It’s very important that you understand this if you want to understand what the next write-up (the one above and not below[:]…it will come up in a short while [:D]) is all about…..Perfection and its purpose in life ….that’s what you need to by-heart[:P]

Just why TeeVee is so popular as ‘The Idiot Box’!!!

Have u ever tried to ponder just why our very own TeeVee is so sarcastically referred to as the Idiot Box? (Yes! Mr.J.L.Baird my sympathies with you! [sobs..]) Then here ends your quest for the answer which has eluded mankind since time immemorial (ok..ok..hold on) Well I m proud to have actually come across(or rather tripped over!) a wonderful explanation yesterday…

Roti in one hand and the Remote in the other, I zero in on a news channel, Aaj Tak to be precise, with immense valour and shock-absorbing mindset, to discover that my expectations of craziness are quite out-dated with the times! The news : a woman, while ogling at the scenes of some ‘K’ serial on Star Plus, gets a stroke and dies!(Now please don’t buzz me with questions about which serial it was…I don’t know and I hope you don’t either[gives that stern look]) The reason : Smriti Irani, who is revered by the house-wife community as their demi-goddess, falls(rather is made to fall!) into a ravine, thus throwing her out, permanently, from her character and from the daily soap also…Now guys! She didn’t win that constituency, did she? Or was she unwilling to remarry in the serial yet…. Ahem! Ahem!

Now guess guess....who is the idiot?? Of course, the woman! (No credits for guessing that!) Honestly, no ill-feelings meant to the woman and her family. My deep condolences…May Her Soul Rest in Peace! But that bloody Ekta makes a damn soap, throws up twists and curves in them as if making jalebis in burning hot oil, pumps up enough bucks through advertisements to survive her flop-show brother’s box office crashes and ultimately who’s the scapegoat? The very woman, who sacrilegiously sits down in front of the TeeVee, sacrificing an evening out with her husband. So emotionally strung and socially entwined she is that her real life is encroached upon by the pretending-to-be-real reel world and….SHE DIES! [eyes pop out, tongue falls out…ekdum Mask style] Yet…did you ever hear a Nandigram revolt against the woman in the daily soap who marries her husband, her husband’s brother, brother’s friend, friend’s driver and again her husband and…until it gets beyond her own mathematical abilities to keep track of her pati-parmeshwars. Strange!!

Whatever…Starting with the blame-game, the typical woman shall blame Star for running too realistic a story (huh ...then it is expected that they run unreal stories??), Star shall sue Ekta for portraying such ruthlessness, when she could have never killed Irani (now...Who is writing the script!), Ekta shall talk of woman emancipation and argue that this is what happens in India! Hence, then you blame the people and the society, then the Indian family life, then that Indian Family, without a mother and a wife, due to which the whole fiasco started…eeekkks…where have we arrived at now, the place where we started off!! So there proved…‘who’s the idiot?’!

And because we have no one left to blame, so we blame our very own TeeVee!! As it makes the woman look like the idiot hence it is the ‘Idiot Box’…But things don’t end here[nods her head left & right].The big question is ‘Who is really the real Idiot?’…..YOU! (the Oscar to you if you guessed that). By simple reasoning I can conclude that you are neither one who sees daily soaps (coz you wouldn’t be reading this if you did watch that crap), nor Ekta nor the woman who died valiantly in the premises of her drawing room (if only she would have read this she wouldn’t have died!) And if you think you can convince the ladies of the house with your pep-talk then …Here comes your Doomsday! Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you!! So why are you reading this, after all??

Now Now Hey!!…If I know that my message is never going to reach the concerned audience then why am I writing!! Ultimately it’s me who’s the Idiot…Oh God!…Fine! Just digest this : It is the TeeVee which made me look like the Idiot…Thus, Therefore, Finally….our very own TeeVee is the ‘Idiot Box’!! [stamps her feet and walks off!!]